Noobsinc’s Blog

Posts Tagged ‘movie review

I was beyond excited when I first heard about the original Underworld movie. I mean come on… werewolves versus vampires! Does a geek need to hear anything else to get his blood pumping? The answer is no. Add on top of that a hot as hell Kate Beckinsale dressed in tight leather fighting the armies of the night. Sign me up! Unfortunately the movie didn’t quite live up to it’s potential. It had fantastic style and a great mythology behind it, but it suffered in its execution. It did introduce us to my all time favorite movie vampire however… Viktor! Then came Underworld 2 and it was… how do I put this? A giant sack of crap. It’s just best that we all treat it like Highlander 2 and just forget it ever existed.

When they first announced that there would be a third Underworld film I was extremely apprehensive (because the second one was so bad and he story seemed to have nowhere left to go), until I found out that it was going to be a prequel. An Underworld movie about the old war. Showing the Vampires in all their glory and the Lycans in all their savagery. This was the Underworld movie I had been waiting to see. Did it deliver on all my hopes and dreams? No… but it was still quite good and without a doubt the best Underworld film to date.


The synopsis for Underworld: Rise of the Lycans looks something like this: “This prequel story traces the origins of the centuries-old blood feud between the aristocratic vampires known as Death Dealers and their onetime slaves, the Lycans. In the Dark Ages, a young Lycan named Lucian emerges as a powerful leader who rallies the werewolves to rise up against Viktor, the cruel vampire king who has enslaved them. Lucian is joined by his secret lover, Sonja, in his battle against the Death Dealer army and his struggle for Lycan freedom. FX artist Patrick Tatopoulos, who developed the creatures for the first two films, is directing.”


My Bloody Valentine (MBV) delivers in spades if you are a fan of this once popular subgenre. Of course I always have a lukewarm reception for remakes, especially of films that I love, but I admit I was very excited to see this one.

If you are familiar with the original then you already know the story. Ten years ago, Harry Warden went off his nut and hacked a bunch of folks to bits with a coal ax. And now it seems he has returned to mine some more bodies. The similarities from this point on are splattered here and there along with most of the town of Harmony’s entrails.

Let’s get the inevitable comparison out of the way. I am grieved to announce there is no heart in the weenie water scene. That broke my heart a little but I can love again. And I do.

Basically it will suffice to say that this year’s MBV is a straight-up, blood drenched, boobies poppin’ , Rated R slasher just like the good old days. There’s no waiting around for some action. There’s no wondering when the killing will begin. There are no fake out jump scares that leave you ticked off at the lack of a punchline. MBV starts swinging and doesn’t stop until the bodies pile high.

Jensen, who is always easy on the peepers, does a whole bunch of looking hot. And while I still can’t buy Kerr Smith as a badass, he admittedly does a fine job here. My one complaint is that I wish I could’ve dug on more Tom Freakin’ Atkins. I guess I’m just used to him being the center in his films and maybe he’s getting a little up there for that. But he made my jaw drop here and there and that’s okay with me.

Some of the dialogue sets itself up for a swing and a miss but I don’t watch slasher films to feed the depth beast. Slashers are meant to do nothing but entertain with a whole lot of gratuitous violence and nudity. If you grew up with them like I did then you know exactly what I am talking about. And if you are a fan you will not be disappointed with MBV.

The 3D was solid and fun to watch. Thanks to the Dolby innovations, you get much more than the usual pole-comin-atcha gag. There is dimension added to every scene and sometimes I found myself feeling as I was there. When a character come from the side it almost seems as if you could reach out and touch them. If you have never seen a 3D film this is a good place to start. If you are a fan of 3D horror from back in the day this is a great place to keep the love flowin’ along with the blood. You can of course expect a little cheese but for the most part it’s no big deal.

Twilight. A fantastic bite at vampire fiction translated to the big screen… I’ve never been one for fantasy, or mythical creatures but this film changed my mind completely. As a teenager, I find that the female audience can really relate to Kirsten Stewarts performance as Bella and the way in which she goes about the introduction into a new school and how she faces the hatred conveyed by Rob Pattinsons character Edward Cullen.

Obviously, the book presents more information and more direct exposure of the characters in the film and further associates the reader with the storyline, but in the challange of transforming the book to a movie, it couldnt have been done better. I read twilight in 2 days, even though I am a SNAIL when it comes to reading. Stephanie Myer had me crawling for more, as did the film. I admit, I have watched many youtube clips of the film, captivated by the actors chemistry, the take on the characters and the music of the film. simply breath taking.

Pattinson and Stewarts take on the protaginists works well. I saw the movie mid way into the novel and had built my own interpretations of the characters and their motives, and was not dissapointed with the actors performance. However, some of the humour or rather some of the remarks from the film loose those who have not read the text. For example, the scene where Bella and Edward are at the restuarant, the newly invented dialogue leaves the audience clueless wondering WHAT THE HELL JUST WENT ON? something is uttered about “I dont want to know what the score requires?” What is that supposed to mean?

The condensing of the novel was also done well, a compelling take on the 500 page text. However some components such as the new WAYLEN character being introduced to the plot only confused devoted readers but meant little to new fans.

However, I find myself truely intrigued by the forbidden romance of these two, perhaps a romeo and juliet of my era. It makes me want to find MY edward cullen! Despite this, I was very upset to hear that the existing director will not be directing new moon. Her symbolic and fast paced camera movements were to be commended, a film which truely held the audience’s attention and kept them “thirsty” for more.

On the other hand, seeing it with my mother who had never heard of the series before and wasnt familiar with the characters and their situations believed that the movie wasnt fluent enough and that the characters relationship moved too quickly, not giving you a true insight into the deep and passionate love that the characters felt for each other.

Whilst that fact was obvious, the book makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. as I LOVE YOU is commonly said and conveys the characters emotion. Love was rarely spoken of in the film and whilst you inferred the relationship between bella and edward, it left you wondering how deep it really was. Fans would have been pleased with the referance to the much loved LION AND LAMB quote.

Rob Pattinson lived up to my expectations of Edward, a divine character in which a committed and talented actor needed to play. Honestly, he was the one who made me fall in love with Edward Cullen. However, Kirsten Stewarts portrayal of Bella Swan was extremely monotonous, at times leaving the audience bored waiting for those high impact scenes or simply for edward’s return. Her performace was phenomonal in the final fighting scene and the hardships of the characters love only then emerged.

The music played a more important role in conveying emotion in the film, something that the actors failed to do. The audience were left leaving the cinema thinking , but WHAT bought them together WHY does edward love her. How will this work. Acting as both a positive and negative deterrent, but encouraging viewers to race back later this year to see the sequel.

The special effects were utterly spectacular. Reading the novel I was curious to see how the film would pull off the high impact scenarios that were taking place in my head, but they did it. And boy did they do it well.

Soundtrack, as I said before was exceptional. Bellas Lulluby gave me goosebumps, and the composers Carter Burwell’s talent simply lept from the screen.

The one thing that surprised me the most was the cafeteria scene. I laughed when I first saw Edward, but grew to love him after the mystery surrounding him got the better of me. Did anyone notice the part where Bella dropped the apple “edible art” and edward picked it up, placing it in the palms of his hands, a direct deja vu of the cover of the original Twilight Book. Overall, a must see. Props to Myer and all of the cast and Crew Thumbs up.

Shotgun Stories tracks a feud that erupts between two sets of half brothers following the death of their father. Set against the cotton fields and back roads of Southeast Arkansas, these brothers discover the lengths to which each will go to protect their family.

This film gets under your skin, takes you into the world of these characters and never lets you go. There are deaths in the film, and when it happens midway through, a sense of loss, of sadness, and of rage is felt by the audience for the remainder.
It never boils down into a standard revenge film, but simply muddles in the mundane and sad lives of its characters. Although this film exudes a sense of sadness that few other films could aspire to, its not depressing. I would not dare reveal the films resolution, only to say that it comes sensibly, after a moment of great realization. Nichols shows himself to be a serious filmmaker to watch in the future. This is a profound and wise film. And a great one too.

Having not read the book and going to the theater open-minded and with a few friends who had read the book, I figured I was in for a good night. Unfortunately, all I got were a few yawns and popcorn stuck to my shoes.

I couldn’t tell what was worse, the lack of gripping scenes that didn’t seem like a rewrite of Romeo and Juliet for vampires, the annoying cheesy elements that caused forehead-smacking head-shaking disbelief, or the incredible predictability that the storyline took (how many variants of the male vampire falling in love with awkward teen girl can you truly make without getting predictable anyway??). I will give credit where it is due though for the fight scene at the end though that could have renewed the plot’s vigor for me…. if it wasn’t at the end of it, that is, and added even more weight to the predictable column.

Overall, for someone not initiated into this by the book, I’m looking for my time back. I still hold out faith that the old truth still stands firm and “the book was better”, because if the movie and the book resemble each other as closely as I’m told, I’ll be more bored than I was in the theaters.

My recommendation: if you’ve read the book, go see it and I’m hoping its better that way, but if you haven’t read the book, stay away and find a better use of a night out.

July 2018
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